Facebook Lurkers

I am an oversharer. I'm aware of that. I'm fond of posting ridiculously mundane crap on facebook and will happily chuckle away at my own boredom. So far I am yet to post anything quite as boring as "Off to bed now" or "Can't quite find a matching pair of socks" but I'm aware that people whom I've not run into in years may not care to know that I've had an altercation with a trolley in a supermarket and I'm fairly sure I've noted this type of event on occasion.

I don't expect everyone to post frequently on facebook. I don't expect people to post anything on facebook. But today's blog post is about The Facebook Lurker. Look. I get that you people don't go about friending people just so you can laugh behind their backs and if they're stupid enough to accept your friend request then so be it, but can't you at least occasionally remind them that you're there??!!

You know who you are. We're not talking about the group of individuals who got pushed into facebook by insistent family members months ago and are yet to check the bloody thing. Oh no. Facebook Lurkers are a whole different group. You are the people who say absolutely nothing. Never register a post or a thought or a comment about anything. Yet (and this is the crucial point), you read everything. You check facebook perhaps three times a day.

Then (and this is the second horrifying detail) you run into me at the shops. For some funny reason we became facebook friends (a precarious status in itself and a whole other blog) and you know every ridiculous (I admitted it earlier didn't I) detail about me and I know NOTHING about you!!!

You: "I saw you were hungover the other day, must've been a big night."
Me: "Yeah...so what do you do for work these days?"

Look, reading this back I know that I am mainly to blame. I need to cull. I need to say less. But I just find the whole damn thing so hilariously entertaining. I laugh at my own status updates. There. I said it. And before you start eye rolling, ask yourself if you don't occasionally laugh at your own. And I love reading your posts. Although some of you really are boring and need to get on board with the arts of sarcasm, wit and innuendo and this needs to happen quickly.

To the Facebook Lurkers (you know who you are), why not post something. Even if it was "you people are mental." I think that might be the funniest update of all.