Ladies Who Get Nude and Stay Nude

Summer's almost here and what a long time it has been coming. With Summer comes swimming and I will be one of the first to jump on in. The beach is my preference but I may also try the pool. I'll convince myself this is an exercise focused endeavour but will probably be spending much of my time with the nannas in the slow lane.

But this post is not about swimming. It's about what goes on in the ladies dressing room, post-swim. Try and imagine feeling comfortable with the following:

1. You throw on the thongs and head into the communal showers.
2. You strip off in a nonchalant manner and stand buck-naked under the shower's warming heat. You take your time whilst others queue anxiously behind you.
3. You wonder why others avoid eye contact with you as you take care to wash well between your legs and remove all sand in all crevices.
4. After toweling off you hang your towel over a hook and decide to...
5. Blow-dry your hair. Heading for the basin area you plug in your hair drier and face yourself in the mirror for a better view.
6. Others awkwardly approach the basins to wash their hands having been to the toilet.
7. You smile and laugh lightly as someone is accidentally bumped into your buttocks. At first they don't realise they have knocked into a naked person but a shocked glance brings your lady garden into full view and they reel back in embarrassed horror.
8. You roll your eyes at the ridiculousness of the other, mortified, curious, offended patrons present. How could it be that women are so uncomfortable in the presence of something so familiar??

Sound like something you'd go for?

Me neither. Well I know I sound like a prude but those who know me well would probably defend me on that. My issue with the CBN (Communal Bathroom Nudist) is this: I know you have a vagina. I have one too. I know you have confidence in your body. I occasionally do too. I know you don't have hang-ups about your breasts. Neither do I. Here's the thing. Can't you be a bit more embarrassed please? Your level of comfort with your nakedness makes me feel....well...naked. I don't mind you being nude for a bit but do you have to look like you could be waiting for a bus while you're doing it? Your nudity just doesn't have the right sense of urgency about it. For most of us, when in public places, nudity is a transient, if albeit occasionally necessary, state of being. (Drunkenness is the only exception to this rule).

So put some clothes on for shit's sake. At least a pair of undies.